Written by Manabu Bannai

How to Win Friends & Influence People - 3 Important Facts

I'm astonished by reading this book again.

The method for success is included in this book. The very first time I read this book (when I was a college student), I didn't notice the importance of this book.

But this time, I could. Because my experiences enable it: I'm a successful business person with 10 years of experience and enough money that can afford my entire life's expenses.

The Reason I Wrote This Article

Read it regularly and reflect on how I behave in my life.

This is a long book, but I extract the essence from it. The table of contents are the followings. Simple summary of this book.

Table of Contents

1. Most Important Rule of Relationship

Always make the other person feel important.

There is one all-important law of human conduct. If we obey that law, we shall almost never get into trouble. In fact, that law, if obeyed, will bring us countless friends and constant happiness. But the very instant we break the law, we shall get into endless trouble. The law is this: Always make the other person feel important.

Action I Should Take:

Always try to make the other person feel important.

2. The Rules to Help the others Grow

There are three rules as follows:

(1) Praise People as much as you can

The deepest urge in human nature is “the desire to be important.”

I can look back at my own life and see where a few words of praise have sharply changed my entire future.

The word from the guy who paid $1M USD salary by Carnegie

“I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among my people,” said Schwab, “the greatest asset I possess, and the way to develop the best that is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement. “

There is nothing else that so kills the ambitions of a person as criticisms from superiors. I never criticize anyone. I believe in giving a person incentive to work. So I am anxious to praise but loath to find fault. If I like anything, I am hearty in my approbation and lavish in my praise.”

(2) Changing the word “BUT” to “AND”

Don’t use But. Instead, use And.

Example of AND:

We’re really proud of you, Johnnie. AND by continuing the same conscientious efforts next term, your algebra grade can be up with all the others.

Example of BUT:

We’re really proud of you, Johnnie. BUT you need the same conscientious efforts next term to your algebra grade can be up with all the others.

(3) Let them Realize by themselves

You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him to find it within himself.

The letter was written by Lincoln in 5 min (Sold at $12,000)

I have placed you at the head of the Army of the Potomac. Of course, I have done this upon what appears to me to be sufficient reasons, and yet I think it best for you to know that there are some things in regard to which I am not quite satisfied with you.

I believe you to be a brave and skillful soldier, which, of course, I like. I also believe you do not mix politics with your profession, in which you are right. You have confidence in yourself, which is a valuable if not an indispensable quality. You are ambitious, which, within reasonable bounds, does good rather than harm.

But I think that during General Burnside’s command of the army you have taken counsel of your ambition and thwarted him as much as you could, in which you did a great wrong to the country and to a most meritorious and honorable brother officer.

I have heard, in such a way as to believe it, of your recently saying that both the army and the Government needed a dictator. Of course, it was not for this, but in spite of it, that I have given you command. Only those generals who gain successes can set up as dictators. What I now ask of you is military success and I will risk the dictatorship.

The Government will support you to the utmost of its ability, which is neither more nor less than it has done and will do for all commanders. I much fear that the spirit which you have aided to infuse into the army, of criticizing their commander and withholding confidence from him, will now turn upon you.

I shall assist you, as far as I can, to put it down. Neither you nor Napoleon, if he were alive again, could get any good out of an army while such spirit prevails in it, and now beware of rashness. Beware of rashness, but with energy and sleepless vigilance go forward and give us victories.

3. The Best way of Persuading People

Telling the story.

Actually, that's not explained in this book. But for the following two reasons, I believe that Storytelling is the best way to persuade people.

Reason1: This book uses Storytelling so many times. Reason2: This book has been read as one of the world's most famous books.

Summary: 3 Important Facts about human

Here is the summary:

1. Most Important Rule of Relationship

2. The Rules to Help the others Grow

3. The Best way of Persuading People

That's it. Thanks for reading :)

» How to Win Friends and Influence People (Dale Carnegie)

*Photo credit: The story of Dale Carnegie, famous self-help author and the original sales influencer